Parallel life

I don't know what you call it - premonition or paranoid - but I think I see my future life in other's. I somehow admire this person, believing I myself own the same kind of label of soul. Of engine and spirit that move this creature to live a life. I don't know how all get started, but sometimes I even think I like this person. But it ain't easy to say that you like or have a crush on someone when you realize all the consequences. So that's why all you can do is just admiring the person in a distance. And yes, you're over protected towards your heart, and you know it. But that's okay.

So, when this person you admire, this "hero" of yours, this freeing lost soul messenger, is doing something for a freedom of life, your heart pumping. You feel excited, yet at the same time upset, knowing you cannot do the same for some stupid reasons. And then the cruel solitaire feeling strike you. This is when you start to think "Oh my God, I see my future in you, and I don't think I understand it at all. It's somehow scary."

You see a person surrounded by love. Love that you've been looking for. Love that you're founding of. Love that you adore. But then, why this loving person seems to get busy looking for others out there? What is it that more gracious than love? Why can't love content a person's life? Should be enough, but why is searching still?

I don't know.

And I'm scared. I'm scared that love can't satisfy me. What if all this time I've been searching a wrong treasure? I've trying to crack a wrong puzzle? What if this care-free soul is never contented at all? All these questions make me sad.

Dear someone, if only you know how bad you have made me scared. I think I see my future in you. Though Dumbledore said "It's not how you two are like what matters, it's how you're different from him." I wish my future life is different than life you're having right now. Take care of yourself there.